WHAT I'VE LEARNED SO FAR IN MY RELATIONSHIP

May 05, 2017

Relationships aren't like in the movies. The world isn't always rose tinted, you're not constantly laughing while feeding each other spoonfuls of ice cream, and you're certainly not fighting over who's the cutest.

But what do I know, right? In my 23 years of life, I had never been in a relationship until now and these past 7 months have been filled with one of the most wonderful people I've ever met. We'll call him G.

G and I met in a bar - not the most romantic of places, especially when you grew up with the fantasy of meeting a handsome stranger in a coffee shop as you read your favorite book with a latte. But he is handsome, so there's that. There was instant chemistry, and his accent had me swooning the whole night. Conversation flowed so easily and it honestly felt like we had met long before and were just catching up over beers. I knew after that first date that this was going somewhere, and I was terrified.

Can you blame me? Pretty much my whole life, I didn't invest much time in the opposite sex. I mean yeah, I had crushes and fan-girled over hot celebrities (hey Johnny Depp). But when it came to actual dating, I just didn't have the interest or, quite frankly, the confidence. Plus, seeing my older sister go through heart break after heart break from total douchebags didn't give me a warm and fuzzy feeling about relationships and dating. So I kept to myself, invested my time in my studies, friendships, and hobbies and I was perfectly happy that way. And honestly, I would still be happy that way. But that's not to say I don't appreciate the wonderful relationship I'm in now.

But let me tell you something reader...relationships are not as easy as I thought they would be. Especially when your S.O is from another country, which adds on another layer of miscommunications, language barriers, and cultural differences. But you know what else it adds? A whole new level of understanding. I get frustrated and tired at times, but I've learned that it's just as frustrating for him as it is for me. We take steps every day to learn how to communicate with each other and understand the other's needs. Patience is key. And yes, I do have moments where I get so angry I can feel smoke coming out of my ears. But I'm so thankful he's a calm and collected person, because through his kindness and patience, we're able to talk it out and move forward. He's also just too fucking adorable for me to stay mad it him for very long.

I've also learned that compromise is a HUGE component of relationships. And when you're someone who has focused on your own wants and needs for so long, that can be a little exhausting. You're constantly thinking about what the other person wants to do, what they like and don't like, what interests them, what upsets them, what their plans are for the future, if you fit into those plans, etc etc. Like damn sometimes you just want to get a plate of tacos even though your S.O wants to get ribs, y'know? But when you really care about someone, sometimes you gotta put your own wants aside to make sure they're happy. Having said that, make sure you find a balance so that you're not the only one making sacrifices. Give a little, get a little. In the end, you both should be having new, exciting experiences together.

We're still in the early stages of this song and dance, so there's still quite a lot to learn. But I love learning, so I say bring it on.

Until next time loves!

by 




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