WHAT MAKES A SMOOCH GOOD?

August 10, 2018 3 Comments

Baron Wolman photo of Pamela Des Barres... amazing!

I got my very first wet kiss from a lead guitar player. Surprise surprise. It happened in the back seat of a shimmery apple green ’58 Pontiac Bonneville. Still my dream machine. At only thirteen years-old, I had no idea a pulsing slippery tongue would be involved, even though I had enjoyed a few decidedly unslobbery smooches with my junior high boyfriend atop his bunkbed. But Robby was eighteen, and this kiss was something entirely different indeed.

     His tongue swirled round and round inside my mouth (In I’m with the Band I said it felt like his tongue was trying to locate something) and felt quite enormous, filling my mouth like an inflated damp balloon. Was he doing it right, I wondered? It sounds pretty awful but I actually wound up enjoying it immensely. I felt woken up somehow, and had a furtive glimpse into my future, and all the probing tongues I’d encounter during my romantic adventures.

     Robby definitely did know what he was doing, and praise Jesus, my first real kiss was a memorable one in all the right ways.

     Let’s examine what makes a kiss good, shall we? Although I suppose we all have different smooching tastes, we will probably agree that if saliva is running down your chin, or if a tongue moves back and forth like a saw covered with sandpaper, you might reconsider your options. (If real love is involved, you may be stuck, but can hopefully retrain the kisser gradually, with some nimble moves of your own).

     The taste of a person (and the scent as well) is the true sensual connection. Pheramones can actually make you fall in love at first sniff. Or not. Of course it’s important to avoid onions, garlic and heavy spices if you’re anticipating an after-dinner canoodle with open mouths. Carrying mouthwash is a grand idea too, and floss. Cleanliness is next to horniness after all.

   I like to make out for hours, and my personal preference is the slow burn. The very gentle beginning, slow, languid, half-open mouths, licking, anticipating the breaking and entering for awhile before the probing starts. That way, you can both start to relax, which is key – that glorious sinking-into-amorous-nirvana feeling that is like no other. Playfulness, nipping, a little biting, a few breathy lust phrases thrown in in between the all-important eye-gazing. If your kisser closes their eyes, make sure you do or say something slightly startling to make them look into your lusty peepers and hold that gaze for awhile. Soul-connection. We are in this together. I am you and you are me, baby. And make it last. Make ‘em wait for the Big Event. Take the time to kiss, kiss, kiss, because more kissing makes the anticipation seem like heavenly fireworks.

     You know what Prince said: “I just want your extra time and your KISS.”

Photo by Baron Wolman

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3 Responses

Yari
Yari

February 04, 2019

I’ll never understand why guys are so eager sometimes lol one thing i enjoyed in high school was finding another girl who dated a guy i’d been with on at least one date (this happened twice and both times we both bonded over our shared affairs). One of them was also trying to retrain the guy because he had a tendency to lose his way out of you mouth and start licking your face. One thing I wish we learned in sex ed, with frenching, less is more :)

Goddessinsecta Jones
Goddessinsecta Jones

February 04, 2019

You’re a smart, perceptive lady by bringing up the sense of smell and taste.
As a major perfume collector and a member of a perfume chat room, the question would come up sometimes about what perfume to wear on a first date. At the risk of being branded a heretic, my answer was always the same: “Nothing.” When you get to the hugging and kissing part of the night, it’s important for you both to find out if your date smells right.This is crucial. (And in this particular case, it has nothing to do with soap, shampoo, or perfume.) Individual scents vary widely, and if you are put off by their skin scent, it makes for major problems if you embark upon a relationship. This is because the sense of smell is located in the part of the brain called the limbic system, which is the seat of memory and emotion. If someone doesn’t smell or taste right, your brain won’t let you rest.
But, oh, when your brain DOES approve—-then it never lets you forget that, either! ❤

Michele X Sova
Michele X Sova

February 04, 2019

Thanks, Miss Pamela. I have been trying to figure out a way to explain how to properly kiss a girl to my teen nephews without grossing them out because the info would be coming from me (I raised them, mostly, as my sister, their mom, died when they were babies). I’m usually very blunt in the education of love, but sometimes the details get to be a bit too much :) Now I can print two copies of this and give it to them! They know who you are because they are rock music encyclopedias already, so your crown of credibility will make them pay attention! You rock and you rule! XO!

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